Graveyard Nine

The Baskets Aren't Dead Yet 💀

adjusts frost-covered headset while staring at eighteen scorecards that refuse to quit Welcome back to Week 7 of A Chainsmas Carol, where "Graveyard Nine" promised a cemetery of abandoned baskets and Scrooge's memorial on Hole 18—but eighteen souls showed up to Timmons Park's frozen fairways (42-45°F) and decided resurrection was more their speed. The back nine didn't become a graveyard; it became Zach Taylor's personal birdie factory, a -10 wire-to-wire masterclass that buried last week's course record before it could even get a headstone. The spirits tried to show us death and silence. The players brought twelve-birdie rounds and tied divisions instead. 🔥

Twelve Birdies and a Funeral

Zach Taylor walked into Timmons with a 909 rating and walked out with a 995-rated performance that made Blade Blackmer's week-old course record look like a rough draft. Twelve birdies. Two bogeys. Wire-to-wire dominance in a two-person MA1 field that still managed to produce drama. Zach seized the lead on Hole 1, never let go, and posted hot streaks at holes 1-3 (three under) and 12-15 (four under) that turned Timmons' technical layout into a birdie buffet. That's an 86-point rating differential over his baseline—the kind of performance that makes you forget the parking lot was basically empty. Blade's -6 (941-rated, +38 over his rating) would've won most weeks, but this wasn't most weeks. The graveyard couldn't hold either of them. ⛓️💀

Holden's Bubble Burst on Eighteen

Alexander Goodson claimed MPO with a clean -4 wire-to-wire win (915-rated), but the real story is Holden McGill watching the only cash spot slip away on Hole 18. Holden led through holes 10, 13, and 17 with a hot -3 stretch at holes 6-8 and another two-under burst at 13-14—eight birdies total, the kind of round that should cash. Then bogeys on 16 and 18 dropped him to -3, one stroke behind Alexander in a division where only first place pays. That's the Ghost of Rounds Future showing you what "so close" looks like in frozen form. Stephen Scoggins finished third at +4 after a brutal 123-point rating drop from last week's 940, and Gage Schatz posted a personal-best 808 round (+64 over rating) in fourth. The lead changed seven times across four players, but only one name cashed. 💸❄️

The Ledger Refused to Pick a Winner

MA4's ten-player field produced nine lead changes and ended with the accounting department throwing up its hands: Kenneth Vogel and Joshua Lockaby tied at -1 (875-rated), both posting four birdies and refusing to blink. Kenneth's story is the more dramatic—sitting in 5th place after Hole 13, he unleashed a five-stroke back-nine surge (holes 14-18) that included a hot streak at 16-17 to claw back to the top. Joshua led after holes 1, 6, 8, and 10 before Kenneth's resurrection. Chase Johnson held the lead through holes 3-5 and finished third at +1 with twelve pars anchoring his card—solid, workmanlike disc golf when "not falling apart" counts as victory. Dylan Moody led after Hole 2 but faded. The Victorian ledger couldn't pick a winner, so it just wrote both names at the top and called it a day. 📊👔

Two Ghosts Haunting Empty Divisions

Robert Donald claimed MA3 wire-to-wire with a personal-best +3 (844-rated, +44 over rating) in a solo division—his five birdies and steady eleven-par backbone proving you can exorcise your own demons even when you're the only soul in the cemetery. Melissa McCorkle did the same in FA4, posting a personal-best +15 (661-rated, +70 over her baseline) with one birdie spark and six pars holding back the winter cold's worst intentions. Both players technically "dominated" their divisions by showing up, but both also posted genuine personal bests in conditions that punished everyone else. The graveyard was lonely, but the chains still rang. 👻⛓️

The Graveyard's Statistical Autopsy

Four personal bests emerged from the frozen fairways—Melissa's +70 rating gain, Robert's +44, Gage's +64, and Holden's 901-round improvement marking genuine breakthroughs in a week designed for death. Zach's 86-point rating surge leads all differentials, while Stephen's -123 collapse (from 940 to 808) represents the graveyard's cruelest claim. Seven players recorded the only birdie on specific holes tracked by PDGA Live: Blade (Hole 4), Zach (Holes 5, 7, 9), Alexander (Hole 11), Kenneth (Hole 12), and Holden (Hole 17)—those lonely chain-grabs in a field of pars tell the story of Timmons' technical defense. Notable streaks: Zach's four-under blitz at 12-15, Kenneth's back-nine resurrection, Chase's twelve-par cushion. The autopsy reveals what the spirits already knew: this course doesn't forgive, but it occasionally rewards precision. 📈🔬

The Arena Rewards Attendance

The Consistency King achievement went to two MA4 players with wildly different interpretations of "consistent." Kenneth Vogel posted an absurd 1.04 variance across six events (minimum required)—the ledger's favorite child, a player whose scores barely fluctuate week to week. Meanwhile, Patrick Kleiss claimed the title with a 6.96 variance, proving you can be consistently present even if your scores wander. Both earned the crown for showing up and letting the algorithm do its thing. James Cable unlocked Hard Mode for six consecutive events, grinding through every week while his scores yo-yoed from +17 to +6. The arena doesn't care about your rating—it cares that you keep walking through the gates. ⚔️👑

No Aces in the Cemetery

The ace pot remains unclaimed, which feels thematically appropriate for an episode titled "Graveyard Nine." No aces, no CTPs tracked, no Super Aces—just the quiet hum of chains catching regulation birdies while the $150+ pot (estimate, actual balance TBD) continues building toward Week 8. Jonathan Armstrong's Week 5 ace remains the last time Timmons celebrated a throw-in, and the spirits clearly weren't feeling generous this round. Hole 17's downhill tunnel—normally a fan-favorite ace run—stayed silent. The graveyard kept its secrets. 🎯💰

The Rematch Lasted Seven Strokes

Kenneth Vogel defended Tag #6 ("Brightwheel Companion") against James Cable's second assault (Tag #16, "Luminous Sentinel") with a 53-60 margin that wasn't even close. Kenneth's -1 held the gate while James posted +6, extending his cold streak to L-L-W-L-L across recent tag challenges. The Brightwheel Companion's heart kept turning despite "echoes every whispered doubt"—its lore describes a wheel that spins with hope and community effort, and Kenneth's consistent play (875-rated again) embodies that grinding resilience. James remains "eternally bound" by mid-pack joy, his Tag #16 stuck outside the top ten while the gate stays locked. The wheel holds. ⚙️🔒

The Sovereign Deficit Skipped the Funeral

Asa Kinnunen held Tag #1 ("Sovereign Deficit") and chose not to defend it during "Graveyard Nine"—a decision that either shows strategic genius or thematic cowardice, and I'm contractually required to note the irony. The Sovereign Deficit, that jet-black coin carved with a weeping eye, embodies the spiritual bankruptcy of the Counting House: "an invisible tax collector that drains warmth and camaraderie from any gathering." It thrives where individual achievement eclipses community well-being, feeding on isolation. Asa's absence means the crown goes undefended while eighteen other players braved the frozen cemetery. The serrated edges of that cursed medallion remain cold to the touch, waiting for Week 8's "Christmas Dawn" to see if redemption—or another deficit—arrives. 🪙👁️

Dawn Breaks After the Graveyard

Week 7 of 10 is complete, and the spirits' graveyard prophecy didn't claim the course—just a few rating points and one bubble-cashed dream. Zach Taylor's -10 nuclear option rewrote the MA1 record book, Kenneth and Joshua's tie proved the ledger can't always pick winners, and four personal bests emerged from the frozen fairways like resurrections the Third Spirit didn't see coming. Episode 8 awaits: "Christmas Dawn," where Scrooge awakens to possibility and the mill wheel turns with renewed purpose. Three weeks remain in A Chainsmas Carol, and if this graveyard round taught us anything, it's that the baskets aren't dead yet—they're just waiting for someone brave enough to throw at them in 42-degree weather. The chains still ring. The spirits are watching. And somewhere in the Victorian fog, that Sovereign Deficit coin is wondering if its owner will show up for the redemption arc. ☀️⛓️