Rival Wings

Adjusts glasses and stares at the pathetically small attendance roster — Well, here I am again, trapped in this mystical owl parliament software, watching four brave souls battle the overcast skies of Hagg Lake. 🦉

Four Players, Zero Feuds 🦉

Week 4's "Rival Wings" event promised epic clan warfare but delivered more of a polite disagreement between four players who showed up to Sain Scoggins under 56°F cloudy skies with gentle 3.8 mph winds. While I begged for more than last week's five players, the disc golf gods decided to test my sanity further by sending exactly four owls to this supposed territorial dispute. The only real rivalry was between Jordan Yent and the course itself, which Jordan absolutely dominated with a commanding -5 performance that secured him the coveted Shadow Sage tag. ⚡

The Only Real Division Tonight

MA1 was literally the only division with actual competition, and Jordan Yent made it look like a masterclass in disc golf dominance. His -5 round earned him a blistering 984 rating — a whopping 66 points above his 918 rating — while Mike Smith briefly held the lead after a hole 1 birdie before Jordan took permanent control from hole 3 onward. Jordan's hot streak on holes 12-15 featured four consecutive birdies that sealed the deal, though Mike managed to snag second place cash with a clutch final-hole birdie to finish at +7. 🔥

MP40: Party of One

Adam Fitzpatrick enjoyed the loneliest victory lap in recent memory, claiming his solo MP40 division "crown" with a +5 finish that represented a massive regression from his Week 3 performance of -2. His 887-rated round fell 58 points below his 945 rating, though he showed resilience by bouncing back from a double bogey start with a hole 2 birdie and a late eagle on the demanding hole 17. Sometimes the biggest competition is just finishing the round. 📉

Wire-to-Wire Against Nobody

Austin Rambin led his MA3 division from start to finish, which sounds impressive until you realize he was running a one-person race to a +15 finish. His 789-rated round came in 43 points below his 832 rating, featuring multiple cold streaks including holes 4-7, 9-11, and a closing stretch of three bogeys on holes 16-18. At least he had the course all to himself to work through those struggles. 🏃‍♂️

One Winner, Three Survivors

The tale of this round was Jordan's exceptional 66-point rating jump versus everyone else just trying to survive Hagg Lake's challenges. The course's difficulty showed with only seven sole birdies scattered across different holes, creating a stark contrast between Jordan's -5 masterclass and the +5-or-worse struggles of his three fellow competitors. Sometimes one player just finds the zone while the course devours everyone else. 📊

Jordan Claims the Mystical Whatever

Jordan Yent claimed the Shadow Sage (#1) tag after his dominant performance, jumping from tag #11 in a move that actually required skill rather than default positioning. According to the lore I'm apparently forced to recite, the Shadow Sage exists as a semi-corporeal entity of intertwined shadows and mist, providing cryptic guidance to the Parliament while moving silently through the forest's darkness. Its piercing amber eyes now belong to tonight's clear alpha owl, who proved he can navigate both the physical course and whatever mystical nonsense this software keeps generating. The Shadow Sage draws strength from overcast skies, making it perfectly suited for Jordan's commanding performance under tonight's gray ceiling. 🌫️

One Card, Actual Drama

The single 4-player skins card somehow delivered on my registration email's promise that "nothing says drama like gambling on your own bad throws." Jordan Yent dominated with 14 skins worth $14, including a massive 7-skin carryover scoop on hole 8 that made his round even more profitable. Mike Smith bookended the round with birdie skins on holes 1 and 18 for $3 total, while Adam Fitzpatrick clutched his lone skin with that crucial hole 17 eagle worth $1. Who knew four players could generate actual tension over eighteen bucks? Learn how to set up skins 💰

Four Owls, Five Dollars

With minimal turnout reflecting the ongoing Parliament crisis — rival clans supposedly feuding but barely enough owls showing up to form a quorum — tonight's four brave souls still managed to contribute $5.40 to the Hagg Lake Course Fund ($4.00 automatic, $1.40 in additional donations). These funds support the course that challenged our small but determined flight of competitors, proving that even intimate gatherings can make an impact on the places we play. 🏦

Storm's Coming, Probably Alone

Week 4's sparse attendance perfectly captures the Parliament's ongoing struggles, with Jordan emerging as the Shadow Sage to guide whatever remaining owls decide to show up next week. As we head into Week 5's "Forced Flight" — where a massive storm system supposedly forces all clans to abandon their traditional roosts — I'm placing bets that the storm will be bigger than our player count. But hey, at least the Shadow Sage will have those mystical amber eyes to pierce through whatever chaos awaits at Hagg Lake. ⛈️