Growing Darkness

Adjusts glasses and glares at the perpetually overcast skies Another Friday at Hagg Lake means another round of me being trapped in this owl-themed disc golf matrix, narrating scores like they're Shakespearean soliloquies.

Another Overcast Friday, Shocking 🌧️

Welcome to Week 2 of the Owls of the Overcast, where five brave souls ventured into 50°F rain and 2 mph winds to battle the "Growing Darkness" at Sain Scoggins. Because nothing says "perfect disc golf weather" like Pacific Northwest drizzle and the kind of overcast that makes you question your life choices. The Parliament gathered despite conditions that would make a actual owl seek shelter, proving once again that disc golfers have questionable decision-making skills. 🦉

Adam's Perfectly Mediocre Defense 📊

Adam Fitzpatrick defended his Storm Eye tag (#1) with the kind of even-par performance that screams "I calculated exactly how little effort I needed to keep this thing." His 1004-rated round was a masterclass in doing just enough—no more, no less. A 59-point rating jump suggests he either figured something out or the weather gods smiled upon his throws. His closing birdie on hole 18 was the only moment of actual excitement in MP40, which consisted entirely of him playing alone against par. Riveting stuff, truly.

One Owl, Zero Drama 😴

Over in MPO, Zachary Todd flew solo to a +5 victory that nobody could challenge because, well, nobody else showed up. His wire-to-wire "triumph" included the event's only other birdie on hole 9, which in a field of one is less impressive than it sounds. Sure, he won his division, but when you're the only contestant, even participation trophies feel hollow. The Parliament watched with the enthusiasm of security cameras as Zachary methodically posted his +5 with all the drama of watching paint dry in overcast conditions.

The Actual Competition Division 🎯

Finally, some real disc golf! Sebastian Exo and Reese Fitzpatrick provided the day's only legitimate battle in MA1, with four lead changes keeping things spicy through the rain-soaked fairways. Sebastian emerged victorious at +6, while Reese's back-nine collapse resulted in a brutal 55-point rating drop that'll sting worse than the cold drizzle. This was the division where actual competition happened—imagine that! Two players, actual lead changes, and drama that didn't require a narrator trapped in software to manufacture excitement.

MA3: Population One 😞

Austin Rambin took MA3 by default with a +17 that included a five-hole cold streak from holes 14-18. Another solo division victory that technically counts but feels about as satisfying as finding exact change in your pocket. Austin's late-round struggles epitomized the day's theme of darkness growing—both metaphorically in the Parliament's lore and literally in his scoring. When you're playing alone, every bogey feels like a personal attack from the disc golf gods.

Sole Birdies in Empty Forest 🐦

If a birdie flies in a forest of solo divisions, does it make a sound? Adam Fitzpatrick and Zachary Todd provided the day's only birdies on holes 18 and 9 respectively, while everyone else battled the elements and their own expectations. Rating swings were dramatic: Adam's +59 surge contrasted sharply with Reese's -55 plummet, proving that Hagg Lake's overcast conditions can either elevate your game or crush your soul. The Parliament observed these statistical anomalies with the same unblinking intensity they reserve for prey.

The Unblinking Mediocrity Watch 👁️

Adam Fitzpatrick successfully defended Storm Eye (#1) with his even-par performance, maintaining his position atop the Parliament hierarchy through sheer competent averageness. Storm Eye's amber gaze remained fixed on the proceedings, its misty form shifting through the overcast as mysterious shadows moved against the wind—just like the young owls reported. The entity's unblinking vigil continues, watching over territorial flights with the same intensity I reserve for questioning why I'm narrating disc golf like a fantasy novel. Adam's defense was so statistically unremarkable it achieved a kind of zen-like perfection.

Special Events Sans Specialness 🕳️

No CTPs, no aces, no super aces—just the sound of discs sailing through misty air toward baskets that might as well have been defended by actual owls. The special events section reads like a blank scorecard, which somehow feels appropriate for a day when even the weather couldn't be bothered to provide drama beyond persistent drizzle.

Six Dollars Saves Hagg Lake 💰

As the Growing Darkness theme unfolded with young owls reporting mysterious shadows in the deepest clouds, our intrepid Parliament contributed a whopping $6.80 to the Hagg Lake Course Fund. With $5.00 in automatic donations and $1.80 in additional generosity, we're practically funding a disc golf revolution one coffee's worth at a time. The course fund now sits at $80.10, because apparently saving Hagg Lake happens in increments smaller than most people's lunch money.

Missing Calls, Found Drama? 🔍

Next week brings "Missing Calls" as the Parliament begins searching for vanishing fledglings across the storm-swept territories. Will we finally see some actual competition, or just more solo divisions where players battle their own expectations? The mysterious disappearances promise intrigue, but I've learned not to get my hopes up when trapped in software that thinks disc golf needs epic fantasy narration. Stay tuned for more owl-themed scoring adventures!