The Parliament's Smallest Quorum
Adjusts misty spectacles with resignation — Five brave owls answered the call for "Joined Talons" at Sain Scoggins this mild Friday, where former rivals were supposed to unite and investigate the forest's disturbance. Instead, I got to watch Sebastian Exo weave through the competition like fog through evergreens, claiming wire-to-wire MA1 dominance while dethroning Zachary Todd's mystical reign over the #1 tag. The prophecy delivered unity alright — all five players crammed onto one card, sharing the misery of Hagg Lake's technical back nine equally. 🦉
John's Lead Lasted Exactly Two Holes
Sebastian Exo controlled MA1 like he was born in the mist, firing a 976-rated masterpiece that sat 30 points above his rating for a dominant -4 finish. John Cairns briefly tasted glory after hole 14, taking a fleeting lead before the forest's back nine reminded him who's boss — a bogey on 16 dropped him to -1 and second place, his front nine magic (3 strokes better than the back) evaporating faster than morning fog. Jordan Yent struggled through a rough +4 outing at 898 rated, sliding from his Week 5 momentum (-3) into a 7-stroke regression that left him on the cash bubble, watching his rating drop 23 points in the process. 📉
From -8 to -2: The Fog Thins
Zachary Todd owned MPO by default but still posted a solid -2 (956 rated) in his solo flight, though his mystical dominance continued its slow fade from the -8 brilliance of Week 5. His lone birdie on hole 11 — the only player across all divisions to conquer that 404-foot Par 4 — showed flashes of his former glory, but the 6-stroke regression and 21-point rating drop suggested the fog around his reign was indeed thinning. Sometimes even the most skilled drifters lose their way in the mist. 🌫️
Closing Birdie in an Empty Arena
Adam Fitzpatrick secured MP40 with the quiet authority of a veteran, grinding out an even-par round (937 rated) that improved his rating by 16 points despite a 3-stroke regression from Week 5's -3. His clutch birdie on hole 18 sealed the wire-to-wire victory with theatrical flair, even though there was literally no one in his division to witness the drama. The man knows how to close a show, audience or not. 🎯
Sole Birdies and Shared Misery
Sebastian's 976-rated performance stood as the day's pinnacle across all divisions, while Jordan's 898 marked the lowest point in a round where Hagg Lake demanded tribute from everyone. The course's signature "tale of two halves" struck again — John's 3-stroke advantage on the front nine vanished in the technical woods, where sole birdies became precious commodities. Sebastian's exclusive conquests on holes 3 and 16, John's solo success on holes 4 and 13, and Zachary's lone hole 11 triumph painted a picture of a course that gave nothing away easily. No aces, no bogey-free rounds — just honest disc golf in the Pacific Northwest mist. 🌲
Zachary's Reign Evaporates
The registration email's confident proclamation of "Zachary's Foggy Dominion" aged about as well as milk in the sun. Sebastian Exo claimed the mystical Fog Weaver (#1) from Zachary's grasp, his wire-to-wire dominance perfectly embodying the tag's ability to "weave fog into protective veils and revealing pathways." Like the spectral owl whose plumage "dissolves into fog at the edges," Sebastian's lead never seemed in doubt, his amber eyes cutting through the competition with the same piercing clarity that defines this ancient guardian of Hagg Lake's misty secrets. The fog has a new master, and he wears it well. ✨
$22.50 Changed Talons
With all five players sharing one card, the skins drama unfolded like a intimate Parliament session where everyone watched the money move. Sebastian Exo dominated with 8 skins for $10.00, including a pair of $2.50 birdies that showcased his complete control of the round. Zachary Todd scooped the day's biggest swing on hole 11, collecting a massive 6-skin carryover worth $7.50 that broke a 5-hole push and reminded everyone why he's still dangerous in the mist. John Cairns grabbed 3 skins for $3.75, keeping the drama alive until Sebastian closed it out on hole 16. Ready to get in on the action? Learn how to set up skins and join the talon-to-talon combat next week. 💰
Even Small Parliaments Pay Dues
The "Joined Talons" theme delivered its promise as these five dedicated owls united on one card to investigate the forest's disturbance, their gathering echoing the plot's revelation that "missing fledglings have been gathering, drawn by an ancient calling." Even with minimal attendance, the Parliament invested $6.20 in the Hagg Lake Course Fund ($5.00 automatic plus $1.20 in additional contributions), supporting the course that underwent its transformative 2022 revival. With no open improvement requests, the forest spirits invite suggestions for enhancing their sacred grounds — tee pads, signage, or drainage improvements to help future generations of disc golfers navigate these misty fairways. 🏛️
Three weeks remain until Week 8's "Storm Center," where the Parliament ventures into the heart of chaos to confront the wounded sky spirit that's been terrorizing their realm. Sebastian now wields the Fog Weaver's power from the #1 perch — can he defend it as the storms intensify and the season's climax approaches? The ancient calling grows stronger, the atmospheric disturbance deepens, and I'm running out of snark to fight off this mystical owl transformation. Seriously, recruit more players before I start hooting uncontrollably and developing an unhealthy obsession with voles. The Parliament needs you! 🌪️
Flippy's Hot Take