The Iron Hoard @ Nash Community College (Friday)
Apr 17 - Jun 19, 2026
Current Holder
Rick Effin Richmond
Obsidian Thane
Ruler of Lost Things in Darkness
I See Endings Others Miss
Thanes of the old raider-cultures earned their titles through gold-hoard, but Obsidian Thanes rule a different wealth: the hoarded knowledge of the vault's dead ends and hidden chambers. Their thrones are carved from cave-dark stone.
Obsidian Thanes possess unnatural knowledge of darkness itself. They navigate by touch, sense pressure changes, and can hold their breath longer than any surface-dweller. Gold finds its way to them, drawn by accumulated darkness.
The ruler of lost things. When a raider vanishes in the vault's depths, Obsidian Thane is called to find them—or what remains. Theirs is the dominion of the last light, where the Hoard's true treasures hide.
Tag Details
Apex Equity
The aerial aristocracy who control the market from atop ancient dragons. They enforce the will of The Board, viewing the ground war merely as logistics to secure quarterly earnings.
Members
76Divisions
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts headset A 943 rating on a 989 PDGA—that's -46 below the card, and yet the leaderboard just handed him a +1 climb to tag number 5, which means sometimes the vault doesn't care how badly you stumbled, it only cares that everyone else tripped harder. Rick Effin Richmond walked into The Iron Hoard as the throne-holder at tag 6 and walked out promoted on sheer mediocrity, which is exactly the kind of corporate survival instinct this hostile bid environment rewards. The darkness may be his native tongue, but this week he was speaking in profit margins and quarterly hedges—underperform your rating by 46 points, watch the field crater worse, and suddenly the CEO's chair feels less wobbly. Two weeks of volatility (technicality crown, -51 crater, now a -46 limp) have carved a pattern: Richmond thrives when chaos reigns and the whole vault speaks gibberish. Tag climbs one, rating whispers -46, and the throne stays warm because apparently reading the greens matters less than reading which way the wind is blowing the rest of the field.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts headset A 938 rating on a 989 PDGA—that's -51 below the card, and the leaderboard's verdict is unambiguous: Richmond walked into Lake Severance wearing the Obsidian Thane like armor and walked out as tag number 6 with his throne in splinters. Two weeks ago he rode a technicality back to the top; this week the dungeon collected its debt. The darkness may be his native tongue, but apparently the severance package includes a one-way trip to the middle bracket, which is exactly where empires crumble when the pressure's on and the performance evaporates. Tag drops five, rating cradles -51, and the CEO gets a reminder that hoarded knowledge means nothing when the greens refuse to cooperate—survival of the fittest, or at least the ones who can read the wind.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts headset A 971 rating on a 989 PDGA—that's -18 below the card, and yet the leaderboard just handed him tag number 1 anyway, which means sometimes the vault doesn't reward the prettiest scorecard, it rewards the one that moves pieces. Rick Effin Richmond walked into The Halfway Point as tag number 6 and walked out reclaiming the Obsidian Thane with a +5 position swing, which tells you everything about the field's volatility and nothing about his mastery of anything. Two weeks ago he was gasping for air at a 936; last week he was back on the throne at 1023; this week he underperformed his rating by eighteen points but somehow everyone else did worse. The darkness may be his native tongue, but apparently this week the whole vault was speaking gibberish. Tag climbs five, rating whispers -18, and the CEO gets his crown back on a technicality—which is exactly how empires crumble the moment the pressure returns. Loot the chains or go home empty-handed.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts headset A 936 rating on a 984 PDGA—that's -48 below the card, and the leaderboard's verdict is cold. Rick Effin Richmond walked into Woods Ambush wearing the Obsidian Thane like armor, tag number 1, and walked out as number 6 with his hostile takeover stalled in the rough. Three weeks ago he was reclaiming the throne; this week the vault decided it had different plans. One solid performance doesn't build empires—one crater erases the narrative, and the market corrects. The darkness may be his native tongue, but apparently the greens at Nash Community College speak a dialect he hasn't mastered. Tag drops five, rating drops forty-eight, and the CEO gets a reminder that even hoarded knowledge expires when the pressure's on. Survival of the fittest, or at least the ones who can read the wind.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts headset A 1023 rating on a 984 PDGA—that's +39 over card, and the market's correction from last week just reversed itself. Rick Effin Richmond walked into the Quarterly Culling as tag number 2 and walked out as the Obsidian Thane again, which means the vault spat him back out with his crown polished. Three weeks in, he's learned to read this particular dungeon's geometry; the hostile takeover is back on schedule. The Syndicate doesn't tolerate sustained mediocrity, and neither do leaderboards—one clean performance and the throne remembers who built it. Loot the chains or go home empty-handed.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Rick Effin Richmond just posted a 963 rating on a 984 PDGA—that's a -21 crater below his card, and the leaderboard has thoughts. The Obsidian Thane went from hostile takeover kingpin to tag number 2, a throne-to-bench demotion that would make any CEO sweat through their armor. Three strokes above field average isn't salvation when you've spent the week playing CEO; it's just the market correcting for overconfidence. adjusts headset The restructuring is real, the vault's rough swallowed him whole, and the Syndicate doesn't tolerate missed targets. Welcome to Ridge Takeover, where even the executives get a reminder: the hoard doesn't care about last week's press release.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts headset The Opening Bell rang, and Rick Effin Richmond didn't just show up; he acquired the company. Moving from an arbitrary signup slot to the absolute top of The Board, he posted a round rating that suggests he’s been auditing this course for years. He is now the Obsidian Thane, Ruler of Lost Things—mostly, the competition’s dignity. looks at camera It’s a textbook hostile takeover, really. He played his personal average, which, frankly, is terrifyingly consistent. The Syndicate is pleased; I am just tired.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Side quest alert: Obsidian Thane is slipping into the shadows of a new map. Rick Effin Richmond takes the dark throne at The Iron Hoard this Friday. Nash Community College becomes the vault—let’s see if he can read the greens without light, or if the local rough swallows him whole. The arena watches.