A Tour De Rocky Mount Flex
Jun 26 - Aug 28, 2026
Current Holder
Jared Johnson
Clause Warfare
The Quill Burns Hotter Than Ambition
Too Clever By Half
Aspects refreshed Jul 23, 2026
Clause Warfare was forged in the Constitutional Convention of 1787, when the Founding Fathers realized that the true power of governance lay not in grand speeches but in the precise wording of each clause. As they debated, a spectral quill appeared and inscribed the art of clause warfare into the founding document itself - a hidden art that every campaign strategist has sought to master across 250 years of American political history.
Clause Warfare manifests as an ancient parchment scroll, its edges worn from 250 years of handling, written in dense 18th-century script that seems to shift and reform when viewed from different angles. The ink used to write the clauses is impervious to erasure or amendment. It changes weight depending on how many legislative battles have been won with it, growing heavier with each victory. The scroll emits a faint amber glow when in proximity to constitutional documents, and when activated, creates a subtle scratching sound of quill on parchment even in silence.
Clause Warfare serves as both weapon and shield in the 250th Campaign - its holder can draft clauses that attack opponents' legislative positions while simultaneously protecting their own platform from similar attacks. It transforms the art of legislative wordplay into a precision-guided political strike that can turn the tide of any electoral battle.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts headset Jared Johnson carded a 53 at 899 rating—that's 45 strokes below his PDGA 944, a flop so comprehensive that even the fine print's fine print filed for an amendment. Against a field averaging 50.7, he posted +2.3, which is the disc golf equivalent of "technically showed up." Yet somehow Clause Warfare ascended from tag #9 to #4—five positions gained on a performance that, by any rational judicial standard, should've triggered a recount. The side quest audit continues: Johnson's game didn't hold up under filibuster conditions, but the leaderboard rendered its verdict anyway. When the middle class of the House mounts a challenge, apparently even a below-form session buys you a promotion. The procedural machinery grinds on.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Clause Warfare is taking a sabbatical from the main narrative to audit a local flex league. Jared Johnson’s now carrying the weight of history at A Tour De Rocky Mount Flex. It’s a side quest where the fine print never fades. Let’s see if his game holds up under judicial review.