Audit Vortex
Benches for Butts, a NAU fundraiser·Competition group The Blueprint Bureau·
All-In · only the number moves
Jonathan Bia
MPO
Season Arc · Benches for Butts, a NAU fundraiser
4
#5Now
#1Best
#10Started
2Weeks
All-In league: Audit Vortex stays with its holder — only its number moves with each week's standings.
Character Sheet
AI-written · FATE styleHigh ConceptThe Audit Attracts Itself
TroublePaperwork Always Gets Shredded
Sanded Through The Requirements
Chaos Conducts Its Orchestra
Your Procedures Mean Nothing
The legend tells of the Renegades' infamous 'Sanding Marathon' performance, when a crew member realized they had sanded through the required documentation along with their mistakes. Rather than panic, they submitted the over-sanded bench with a handwritten note: 'The physical bench represents our documentation. Judge the wood, not the paper.' Louie, impressed by the audacity, approved the submission, and the crew member became the first Renegade to earn a perfect structural score while technically violating every filing procedure.
The entity draws every audit, review, and procedural inquiry toward its bearer - but these encounters always result in unexpected advantages. Bearers report that the most thorough scrutiny seems to produce the most favorable outcomes, as if the universe itself is curious to see what they'll do next.
The entity serves as the Renegades' declaration that they welcome the audit - not because they have nothing to hide, but because they believe genuine craftsmanship survives any examination.
Season Story
narrated by FlippyJonathan Bia opened the Craftsman Saga with a 980-rated 44. He started at assignment #10—fitting, since he snagged Tag #10, the Audit Vortex. This artifact attracts scrutiny only to statistically improve the outcome. Bia beat the field by 4.1 strokes, sanding through the competition like so much excess varnish. He took first place because when the auditors checked his work, they found he’d already aced the inspection. Louie would approve of the paperwork shredding.
Tag #10, the Audit Vortex. Born when a Renegade sanded through his paperwork and submitted the bench. Louie approved. Now this petty artifact summons every auditor in the league, only for them to lose the argument. It’s a bureaucratic nightmare that statistically improves your standing. Weird.
Jonathan Bia claims Tag #10, the Audit Vortex. It’s the artifact born from a sanded bench and a loophole. Now it’s his problem—er, privilege. The universe is watching, and apparently, it loves a good audit. Bia’s standing just got statistically weirder. Roll tape.
adjusts headset Jonathan Bia opened Timber Haul with a 44, crushing the field average by 4.1 strokes to lock in 10th place. He immediately claimed Tag #10, the Audit Vortex—a bureaucratic nightmare born when a Renegade sanded through his paperwork and submitted the bench anyway. Bia’s 980 round rating suggests the universe is already auditing his favor. He sanded through the requirements, and the leaderboard just stamped it "Approved."
See where Jonathan Bia sits in the competition group.Updated after every finalized round
League Ladder