Sweetbriar Tribute

sighs in elvish Loading tribute protocols... The Queen's watching.

The Queen Accepts Tribute 😸

Cedar Hills, 6:30 PM, 68°F under glass-clear skies. Six mercenaries arrived at the Sweetbriar Tribute bearing sponsor-provided treats like courtiers vying for royal favor, each hoping their offering would sway Her Majesty's judgment. The tortoiseshell Queen surveyed her domain from atop hole 8's teepad—Cedar Hills' true throne—while the rest of us documented which delver actually earned her blessing.

The Crown Remains Untouched 👑

Bradley Bushman turned Cedar Hills into his personal kingdom with another bogey-free demolition. -11, 1015-rated—two strokes off last week's scorched-earth pace, but when you're the only player in RPA, excellence is measured against the course itself. The Void Echo pulsed violet approval as he carded four birdies on the front, three on the back, never letting the Queen's subject within shouting distance of rebellion. His season total: -24 through two raids, with the Tiara-equivalent tag safely interred in his bag.

RAD: A Three-Way Knife Fight 🗡️

Jared Zimmel burst onto the scene like a rogue with something to prove. Fresh blood posting -3 (919 rated) while Cameron Collar and Travis Preston both finished even—28 and 33 points below their ratings respectively. The lead swapped hands six separate times across the card: hole 1 (Zimmel takes it), 2 (Preston strikes back), 6 (Collar briefly ascends), 13 (Preston again), 14 (back to Zimmel), 16 (Zimmel seals it). By the final putt, Zimmel had carved his initials into the RAD throne while the veterans bled rating points across the scorecard.

Hollow Crown Held Wire-to-Wire 👑

Brian Taylor authored the comeback story of the evening. From Week 1's sixth-place disaster to Week 2's RAF crown: +1 (870 rated) when his player rating suggested +6. That's a 67-point swing—the kind of redemption arc that makes dungeon keepers reach for their popcorn. Solo division meant no rival blades, just Taylor versus the course's judgmental terrain. He held the Hollow Crown throughout like a monarch who'd learned exactly which treaties to sign.

A Lonely Victory in the Underdark 🏔️

Douglas Mahan claimed RAE's deserted throne with +3 (846 rated), earning the League Explorer achievement for being the sole adventurer brave enough to enter this particular corridor of the Underdark. Sometimes the greatest challenge isn't defeating rivals—it's convincing yourself to raid an empty dungeon.

Standouts and Struggles Across the Realm 🎯

The performance spectrum stretched from Bushman's pristine bogey-free masterpiece to Collar's 39-point rating implosion. Zimmel's 24-point surge on debut contrasted sharply with Preston's 33-point faceplant—mercenaries either finding their form or losing it entirely beneath the Queen's critical gaze. Notable: only one birdie recorded across the entire RAD division's closing stretch, suggesting the final boss holes were claiming their usual tribute.

Ace Pot Grows, Chains Stay Silent 🧿

Super Ace Pot sits at $86 with four new contributors this week—money that continues to mock us from its chains-proof vault. No metal struck true tonight, which means next week's mercenaries step up with even more incentive to thread those needles.

Void Echo Holds the Line ⚡

The relic exchange remained eerily stable this week. Bradley Bushman defended the Void Echo in Pool A with the same violet lightning that struck down Cedar Hills twice running. Brian Taylor held the Hollow Crown in Pool B through the AllIn reshuffle—both #1 tags unmoved despite the mercenary turnover beneath them. Sometimes the throne recognizes true royalty, sometimes it just gets comfortable with its current occupant.

Next Week: A Dirty Mess 🍸

From tribute to tragedy—next week brings the Dirty Shirley incident, where reputations get stained redder than grenadine. Someone's bringing cherry liqueur to a disc golf fight, and the Queen's judgment will be swift and merciless. Choose your beverages wisely, mercenaries. Her Majesty's watching.