Storm Center

The Sky Spirit Forgot to Cry

Four owls braved the Storm Center at Sain Scoggins under cloudy 51°F skies, venturing into the heart of the atmospheric chaos to confront... well, 18 holes and some mild wind. 🌫️ Despite the registration email's apocalyptic 75% rain warnings, the wounded sky spirit from Episode 8 apparently held its tears—mercy from above or just Oregon being Oregon. Adam Fitzpatrick's clutch birdie on 18 and Jordan Yent's 40-point rating surge set the stage for a dramatic bag tag shake-up that would make the Parliament's eldest members ruffle their feathers with approval.

The Woods Remembered John's Name

Jordan Yent (-2, 958 rated) claimed wire-to-wire victory after seizing the lead on hole 10 and never looking back—a stunning 40-point surge above his 918 rating and a 6-stroke improvement from last week's +4 struggle in the mist. 📈 Meanwhile, John Cairns (+5, 891 rated) rode a clean 9-hole par train through the front nine before the notorious Hagg Lake back nine struck with vengeance—hole 11's double bogey derailed everything, dropping him from a share of the lead to a 37-point underperformance. His recovery birdie on 12 couldn't salvage the day as Jordan's back-nine heroics (4 strokes better than the front) flipped last week's narrative where the woods whispered his doom.

Clutch Birdie, Zero Witnesses

Adam Fitzpatrick (-3, 968 rated) delivered a wire-to-wire clinic in the MP40 division, finishing 23 points above his rating with the kind of steady precision that would make a barn owl proud. 🎯 His clutch birdie on 18 sealed the outright win and punctuated a steady climb from last week's even-par performance—sole birdies on holes 13 and 18 proving he's the only owl who can thread the back-nine needles when the Parliament's fate hangs in the balance. Too bad nobody else in his division showed up to witness the artistry.

Jacob Dills vs. The Concept of Competition

Jacob Dills (-2, 958 rated) owned the MPO division by default but earned his keep with sole birdies on holes 7 and 9, plus a 3-hole hot streak (7-9) that would've been impressive if anyone else had bothered to challenge him. 🏆 Wire-to-wire dominance in a field of one still counts—ask the Parliament's record keepers, who dutifully noted every stroke despite the existential comedy of competition against oneself. At least the scorecard doesn't judge.

Sole Birdies: The Loneliest Flex

Jordan's 958-rated round (40 points above rating) stood as the day's biggest overperformance while John's 891 (37 below) represented the roughest tumble from grace. ⚡ The course played tough enough that six different holes yielded sole birdies across the field—holes 7, 9, 12, 13, 17, and 18 each surrendering to exactly one player, meaning nobody else could match those individual moments of brilliance. No aces, no Super Ace on H8, leaving the $122 pot to grow fatter for the Final Parliament in Week 9.

The Throne Changes Without a Fight 🌪️

Adam Fitzpatrick ascended from #4 to #1, claiming Storm Eye—the Parliament's scout and interpreter of atmospheric phenomena whose piercing amber eyes can calm turbulent winds with a mere gaze. The tag's shimmering cloud-form now belongs to a player who shot 23 points above rating and closed with that clutch birdie, perfectly embodying Storm Eye's role in revealing hidden truths through the chaos. Sebastian Exo's Fog Weaver reign ended without a defense—he didn't show up to protect what the mists had granted him, proving that even ancient Parliament wisdom can't defend an empty roost.

The Sky Spirit Hoarded the Aces

No CTP, Ace, or Super Ace winners this week as the wounded sky spirit kept its metallic treasures locked away in the storm clouds. 🌩️ The Super Ace pot on H8 remains at $122 while the Ace Pot sits at $162—both growing fatter for the Final Parliament showdown in Week 9, when the youngest fledgling's solution may finally break the atmospheric deadlock and unleash the chains.

The 11 AM Venmo Thunderdome

One 11:00 AM card, four players, $18.00 exchanged in the kind of intimate skins battle that would make the Parliament's treasurer proud. Jacob Dills dominated with 9 skins ($9.00), including a massive 7-skin carryover scoop on hole 7 with his sole birdie—proof that showing up pays dividends. 💰 Adam Fitzpatrick collected 5 skins ($5.00), closing on 18 with his clutch birdie for 1 skin, while Jordan Yent grabbed 4 skins ($4.00) with a late birdie on 17. John Cairns walked away empty-taloned despite that clean front nine—evidence that par trains pay nothing in the skins economy. Learn how to set up skins for your next card and join the Venmo chaos.

The Wounded Spirit Gets a Tee Pad

Episode 8's "Storm Center" promised the Parliament would confront the wounded sky spirit at the heart of the chaos—and four owls answered the call, their performances mirroring the prophecy's arc where vigilance and steady flight triumph over atmospheric turmoil. ⛈️ Meanwhile, the Hagg Lake Course Fund collected $5.80 this week ($4.00 automatic at $1/player, plus $1.80 in extras)—every birdie funds better tee pads and signage for future Parliament sessions. With no open requests currently, the Parliament invites you to suggest improvements for the realm at the course fund page—maybe a bench for the weary or drainage for the mud-soaked back nine where so many par trains have derailed.

Two Weeks Until the Final Parliament

With two weeks left in the season, the standings tighten as Adam Fitzpatrick holds Storm Eye, Jordan Yent surges back into contention with his 40-point rating explosion, and the $122 Super Ace pot looms over H8 like a storm cloud waiting to burst. 🦉 Week 9's "Final Parliament" gathers all owl clans for the most important session in generations—will the youngest fledgling's solution emerge from the mist, or will chaos continue to reign over the overcast realm? Register early, pack your waterproofs, and prepare to help decide the Parliament's fate as the ancient prophecy reaches its crescendo.