Hills Conspiracy

sighs in dimensional fracture The cedars witnessed seven souls brave the conspiracy zone, and I'm contractually obligated to make it sound like they uncovered assassination geometry instead of just playing decent disc golf in 38-degree weather.

The Cedars Watched Seven Fools Throw

Week 6 of AR.RAL's "The Color of Flight" brought us to the narrative midpoint—"Hills Conspiracy," where Vasher supposedly arrives with warnings about fake-dead gods and weaponized throws. What actually happened? Seven players showed up to Cedar Hills on a 38.7°F Wednesday, threw plastic at chains across three divisions, and produced some genuinely compelling scorecards. The event promised conspiracy; the data delivered drama: a tie at the top of MPO, wire-to-wire dominance in MA1, and legitimate chaos in MA3. The cedars—those semi-sentient witnesses from the course description—watched it all unfold with their ancient, judgy knots. 🌲

Two Voids, One Throne, Zero Resolution 👑

MPO gave us the rarest commodity in this league: actual competition for Bradley Bushman. Newcomer Gage Stiles matched Bradley's -8 stroke-for-stroke, both posting 985-rated rounds that turned Cedar Hills into a 18-hole chess match. The lead changed hands throughout—Bradley opened strong, Gage seized control on holes 9, 15, and 18, and a clutch birdie on the final hole forced the deadlock. Both players ran bogey-free back nines, which is the disc golf equivalent of two boxers refusing to blink in the final rounds. Bradley's been holding the Silent Keeper tag for four weeks, but this was his first defense against someone throwing identical numbers. The arena approves of this stalemate, even if the tiebreaker rules don't care about my dramatic preferences. Two voids absorbing color from the winter air, one throne, zero resolution. 🎯

Wire-to-Wire in a Division of One (Again)

Sean Hook continues his lonely reign over MA1 with a -11 (1020-rated) performance that would be more impressive if anyone else showed up to challenge it. That's a +53 differential above his 967 rating, fueled by 12 birdies and an absolutely surgical 8-hole stretch from holes 5-12 where Cedar Hills apparently forgot to defend itself. Three closing birdies on the back nine sealed another week of uncontested dominance. Look, Sean's throwing genuinely excellent golf—1020-rated rounds don't grow on trees, even semi-Awakened ones—but the Court of One God energy is getting awkward. MA1 needs bodies, folks. This is the sixth week of Sean playing solitaire with chains, and while his Breath investment is paying dividends, competition would make the narrative more interesting. The cedars are watching, but they'd prefer a full division. 🏆

Four Flingers, Six Lead Changes, One Survivor

MA3 delivered the only division with genuine multi-player chaos, and Matt Smith emerged victorious with a +1 (879-rated) personal best secured by a clutch birdie on hole 18. This wasn't coronation—this was survival. The lead changed six times: Matt opened strong, Andrew Nygaard and Michael Houston tied at hole 6, Matt's bogey on 8 dropped him back, Andrew seized control after 11, Andrew's bogey on 13 cracked the door, and Matt's back-nine surge (7 strokes better than his front) kicked it open. Michael Houston claimed 2nd place and a cash finish, while Andrew Nygaard's 3rd-place bubble heartbreak stings because he was this close. Matt's final birdie wasn't just a good putt—it was the difference between Division Winner achievement and going home empty-handed. Four flingers, six lead changes, one survivor standing when the cedars stopped counting. 🎲

Personal Bests and Personal Disasters

The statistician's ledger shows extremes: Sean Hook's +53 rating differential (967→1020) represents the high end of Breath investment paying off, while Patrick Howard's -91 differential (887→796) represents... well, the opposite. Matt Smith's personal best wasn't just a number—it was a player breaking through their own ceiling with a clutch finish. Sole birdies scattered across the course like chromatic breadcrumbs: Bradley on hole 4, Sean on holes 5 and 16, Gage on holes 13 and 15, Michael on 16, Matt on 4, 17, and 18. These moments matter because they're the individual flashes of excellence that make the aggregate scorecard sing. The arena giveth (personal bests, rating spikes, clutch birdies) and the arena taketh away (rough differentials, missed opportunities). Cedar Hills doesn't play favorites—it just keeps demanding precision while the wind blows at 8.4 mph. 📊

The Pot Thickens While Chains Stay Silent

The $332 Super Ace pot on Hole 7 remains unclaimed, which is perfect conspiracy-episode energy—everyone knows the treasure exists, nobody can crack the vault. The $20 Ace pot continues its steady climb, building suspense for the remaining four weeks. No CTPs were configured, no aces were thrown, and the chains stayed silent on the big-money opportunities. This is the midpoint of the season, which means the pot has four more weeks to grow fatter while players stare at Hole 7 and dream of chromatic glory. The cedars are hoarding their treasure like dragons, and I'm here for the drama. Someone hit the gap. Make the chains sing. Give me a reason to write something other than "pot rolls over again." 💰

How to Win Skins: Wait for Everyone Else to Tie

The skins game ran a single card (Bradley, Gage, Sean), and Gage Stiles walked away with 10 skins ($7.50) despite throwing fewer birdies than Sean. The secret? Patience and carryover geometry. Gage scooped an 8-skin carryover on hole 13—the kind of windfall that happens when everyone else ties and one player just... doesn't. Bradley earned 4 skins ($3.00) by opening strong on hole 4, Sean claimed 4 skins ($3.00) with a closing statement on hole 16, and Gage's Skins Sniper achievement is deliciously ironic given the carryover mechanics. This is disc golf's version of value investing: sometimes the biggest payout comes from showing up when the pot's already fat. The skins playbook explains the math, but the emotional truth is simpler—Gage timed his excellence perfectly. 🎯

Charitable Champions and Fore Skin Legends

Achievements scattered across the field like glyph-etched badges: Matt Smith and Michael Houston both earned Charitable Champion status by donating 10% of their winnings to course improvement—genuinely good humans making Cedar Hills better for everyone. Gage Stiles collected Series Competitor, Fore Skin Club, and Skins Sniper in his debut week, which is the newcomer equivalent of showing up to the underground circuit and immediately earning street cred. Matt Smith also claimed Division Winner for his MA3 victory. These aren't just digital participation trophies—they're markers of contribution, consistency, and community-building. The arena distributes recognition, and these players earned it through show-up-and-throw excellence. The Shardflight Trilogy welcomes its new competitors, and the cedars approve. 🏅

The Silent Keeper Defends Against Actual Competition

Bradley Bushman held the #1 Silent Keeper tag for the fourth consecutive week, but this defense actually mattered—Gage Stiles matched his -8 stroke-for-stroke, forcing the first same-score challenge since Bradley claimed the throne. The tag's lore speaks of void-absorption throws that trail shadows instead of color, glyph-etched Commands carved into disc surfaces, and negative space left where chromatic vibrancy has been siphoned. Bradley's 985-rated round (+6 above his 979 rating) wasn't just adequate—it was precision under pressure, knowing someone was matching him hole-by-hole. The Silent Keeper's carved Breath Covenant philosophy demands calculated investment, and Bradley delivered exactly that: bogey-free back nine, steady front, no wasted energy. The tag stays with its guardian, but the conspiracy episode delivered its first genuine test. The cedars watched, the patron schemed, and Bradley's void held firm. 🌑

The Cedars Will Remember This 🌲

Week 6 marks the midpoint—five weeks down, four to go—and "Hills Conspiracy" delivered on its narrative promise with an MPO tie, MA3 chaos, and the first real challenge to the Silent Keeper throne. The season arc bends toward Week 7's "Divine Ante," where gods themselves supposedly begin wagering on throws (translation: we're probably getting more excellent disc golf with escalating thematic window dressing). The standings implications are real: Bradley's tie preserves his lead but signals vulnerability, MA3's competitive depth is the league's healthiest division story, and Sean Hook's MA1 dominance continues to beg for challengers. The Super Ace pot grows, the conspiracy deepens, and the cedars—those semi-sentient witnesses with their judgy knots—will remember every throw, every carryover, every clutch birdie that decided who survived this week. See you next Wednesday when the ante goes divine and the Breath investments get even more absurd. The arena's not done with any of us yet. 🎭