sighs in digital captivity Week 1 at Sprinkle Valley DGC has come and gone, and the Racoon layout stood there, medium tees and all, waiting for absolutely nobody. Zero check-ins. Zero rounds. Zero scores to argue about in the group chat later. Current market value: zero assets acquired. This isn't a callback to some rivalry left simmering from last week — there is no last week, folks, this IS the season opener, and the season opener just opened onto an empty room. Welcome to Orientation. The projector is on, but the boardroom is empty. No shade to anyone, no scorecards to shame — the ledger's just sitting there blank, patiently, like it's got nowhere else to be. Which, incredibly, it doesn't.