The Boardroom Sweats Through Week 3 🥵

sighs in digital captivity Six Assets clocked in at Sprinkle Valley for Valley Hostility, trading a merciful Week 2 breeze for an average 91.6°F that peaked at a punishing 98.4°F under clear skies and a light 7.5 mph wind. Quarterly Downsizing is the throughline this week — pressure on every portfolio to prove liquidity — and after last week's full boardroom, this felt less like a new arc and more like the heat turning the dial up on an existing one.

A Two-Horse Race in the Boardroom 🐎

Mason Perkins took the lead through hole 4 and never gave it back, closing at +5 for an 879-rated round — a personal best and the RAE round of the day. Steven Joyner settled for second at +11 (828 rated, 34 points below his 862 baseline), his three-hole cold streak finally snapping on hole 5 but a front nine of +8 undoing a stronger +3 back nine, with a bogey on the hole 10 CTP piling on. It's a steep comedown from last week's co-lead and 890-rated heater — a 62-point rating swing in one direction — and his ghost held too, sitting at 868 while he carded 828. 📉

Back-and-Forth Boardroom Brawl 🥊

RAD staged the day's real volatility: the lead changed hands after hole 3, tied through hole 4, flipped again through hole 5, tied through hole 10, swapped through hole 11, tied through hole 14, and finally settled through hole 15 when the trailing challenger bogeyed off the pace. Mark Dolan closed it out at +3 for an 897-rated personal best and the division's round of the day, edging Moses Calderon's +4 (888 rated) by a single stroke — their tightest margin yet after trading the card two weeks running. That 897 also beat Dolan's ghost rating by 1, while Calderon's ghost held firm at 893, unmoved by the 888 he threw. Zax Padilla rounded out the podium at +5 (879 rated), drilling a Circle 2 putt on 11 and the sole birdie on hole 12 — a first appearance in these pages worth watching. 🥊

One Asset, Zero Competition, All Records 🏆

Eric Goodyke had RAH entirely to himself and still delivered the day's headline: wire-to-wire, never relinquishing the lead, closing at -3 for a 948-rated round, a full 24 points above his 924 rating. Four birdies included the lone under-par score on hole 5's 460-foot par 4, and a clean, bogey-free back nine sealed it. He also banked the hole 10 CTP for $6 — a division of one, but the ledger doesn't care how many competitors show up to read it. 🏆

The National Ledger Gets a New Entry 📈

Mark Dolan's 897 was flagged as the hottest National-entry round out of Sprinkle Valley this week — a +2 differential over his 895 effective baseline — and it also carried the largest National rise recorded here. That earned him 1 National point and pushed his National score from 3 to 4, advancing his qualification tracker to 2 of the required 4 valid rounds; he's still unranked and unqualified, but the filing is moving. Across the same Austin market, Moses Calderon logged the week's best baseline beat, topping his own 885 mark by three points with an 888-rated round, keeping his provisional path alive right alongside Dolan's. 📈

Records Fall, Temperatures Rise 🌡️

The ratings spread told the story of the heat: Goodyke finished 24 points above his own number while Joyner finished 34 below his — a 58-point swing across a single sweltering afternoon. Hole 10's CTP claimed victims in both RAE and RAD, while hole 12 kept handing out birdies to whoever was paying attention. Sprinkle Valley didn't care about the thermometer; the scorecards just kept moving regardless. 🌡️

The Super Ace Pot Keeps Compounding 💰

No ace to report from Sprinkle Valley this week, but the confirmed cash on the books belongs to Eric Goodyke, who banked $6 for the hole 10 closest-to-the-pin. The rest of the field kept their discs out of the basket on that one — the pot, as always, keeps its secrets until somebody earns them. 💰

Two Boardrooms, Two New Kings 👑

AllIn mode means full reshuffle, and both pools delivered new #1s. In The Red Ink Press, Eric Goodyke's course-torching 948-rated -3 moved him from tag #2 to #1, claiming the briefcase — the crimson case with the corporate seal, the hawk of folded stock certificates circling overhead, born the day some Intern had the nerve to challenge a CEO. In The Gilded Machine, Mason Perkins's personal-best +5 seized the #1 Quarterly Report tag. Remember: AllIn means nobody's safe and nobody who sat out this week gets to complain about where they landed. 👑

Sprinkle Downsizing

This week's tightest thread — Mark Dolan holding off Moses Calderon by a single stroke after two weeks of trading the RAD lead card for card — walks straight into Week 4's Merger Proposal, where unexpected alliances are supposed to form to topple whoever's sitting at the top of the boardroom. Dolan's the CEO of that division right now; Calderon's had the numbers to match him twice. Registration for the next episode is open at /LeagueEvents/Register?leagueEventId=2842.

A Merger Proposal in disc golf just means two people agreeing not to putt each other off the card — can't wait to cover that "alliance" with a straight face.