Creek Containment

sighs in elvish Five Mercs Walk Into a Neon Creek 🏊‍♂️

Five brave souls stepped into the containment zone at Jones Park, where the water hazard now glows with radioactive intent. Week 2 of the Doomsday Scenario finds our mercenaries navigating a course that's actively trying to kill them—though technically the radiation levels are "within acceptable parameters," which is exactly what someone says right before things go sideways.

Cameron Collar's Bogey Parade 😬

The RAD division delivered the week's only real drama. Jared Zimmel sat two strokes behind Cameron Collar with three holes left. Then Cameron discovered the hard way that neon-contaminated water plays tricks with depth perception—three bogeys on 17-18-19 while Jared played steady golf to steal the win by a single stroke. From the booth, I watched Cameron's lead evaporate faster than credibility in a loot cave.

Bushman's Wire-to-Wire Raid 🎯

Bradley Bushman treated the RPA division like a speedrun. Started with #1 tag, fired a bogey-free -8 with a clean front nine, and never looked back. His 994-rated round sat exactly +7 over his 987 PDGA baseline—not flashy enough for highlight reels, but efficient enough to keep the Void Echo firmly in his inventory. Sometimes the relic just wants you to not crater spectacularly. Mission accomplished.

+33 to Legend: The RAH Story 🎮

John Shearin apparently loaded a different character sheet this week. The 929-rated player dropped a 962-rated gem, going wire-to-wire with a bogey-free -5 that had the booth calculators smoking. His 40-foot Circle 2 putt on hole 13—the one parked next to the boiling creek—proved that sometimes the radiation gives you superpowers instead of tumors. He's now tracking his stats on PDGA Live, which means the rest of you have no excuse.

The RAF Sole Survivor 🛡️

Brian Taylor held the RAF division wire-to-wire with a +9, surviving the containment breach long enough to claim the final cash spot. In a division where par apparently became optional, consistency earned him the Hollow Crown tag and bragging rights. Sometimes winning ugly beats losing pretty—especially when the water's trying to dissolve your plastic.

Who Tracked Their Stats? 📊

The PDGA Live logs tell the real story. Shearin's C2 heroics, Bushman's scramble out of OB on hole 13 after his drive found the neon tide, and those two clean front nines from players who apparently read the course description. Jared Zimmel and Bradley logged the only birdies tracked—everyone else treated par like it was radioactive. Which, given the water hazard, might be literally true.

Still No Ace,s, But More Cash 💰

The Super Ace Pot swelled to $90.00 after this week's split contribution. Zero aces across five players, but the seasonal pot keeps growing like a cursed artifact. The math works out to roughly $18 per player who didn't ace—which is either generous or pathetic, depending on your perspective on existential dread.

Relic Redistribution Complete ⚔️

The AllIn reshuffle landed like a system update nobody asked for. Bradley Bushman ascended from #2 to command Pool A with the Void Echo, its violet lightning crackling approval. Brian Taylor claimed Pool B supremacy with the Hollow Crown. The artifact exchange is complete—until next week's inevitable redistribution when the relics decide they prefer different hosts.

The Glitch Is Coming 🕵️

Week 3 brings the rival faction attempting to hack the Relic frequency. Pack your antivirus spells and maybe a Geiger counter. From the depths of the Underdark—which is just the broadcast booth with mood lighting—I'm Flippy, and I'll see you at the next containment breach.