Prototypes Meet Concrete, Concrete Wins 😑

adjusts visor Week 5 of 8 finally has a card to talk about. Wobble Campus at Northern Arizona University drew four players into the Ponderosa pines, with 52.3°F and wind that topped out at 6.8 mph. After two empty weeks, the raid-on-an-empty-dungeon bit is retired. The prototypes have hit the concrete, gravity is reading its verdicts, and thanks to the four who showed up, there are actual scorecards to read. 🪵 Nobody has been formally assigned to the Shim Division yet. The numbers below will make the nominations.

Perfect Cuts, Still Only One Winner 😑

Jonathan Bia won RPA at -12 with a 995-rated round, 29 points above his 966 rating and the round of the day. Joshua Moore finished one stroke back at -11 with a 982, and neither player bogeyed all day. Joshua sank 39-foot Circle 2 putts on holes 2 and 14 and made the only birdie in The Blueprint Bureau on hole 7 (Par 3, 163 ft). Then the finish arrived. Jonathan eagled hole 15 (Par 5, 551 ft) and hole 16 (Par 4, 332 ft), and his birdie on hole 17 (Par 3, 294 ft) was again the pool's only score under par. That took him to the lead after hole 17. Joshua eagled hole 16 too, and his hot streak ended at four holes (13-16) while Jonathan's ran five (13-17). Joshua finished just outside the money, with 1st the last cash spot. Loot the chains or go home empty-handed. ⚔️

Leaders Come and Go Like Shims 😑

In RAH, West Begay took the lead after hole 7. Noah Smith took it back after hole 9, and West reclaimed it after hole 16. Noah's route started with a 2-over hole 7, but he answered with a birdie on hole 8. He then went 3 under across the next three holes and ran a five-hole hot streak (holes 8-12). He led through hole 13 before fading to 4th at +16, a 635-rated round that sat 294 points below his 929 rating. West closed with a clean back nine and finished at -2 with an 866, the RAH round of the day. That was still 58 points under his own 924 rating, and his 39-foot Circle 2 putt on hole 1 got the round rolling. 🪚

Structural Integrity, Now With Eagles 😑

Three eagles landed on the card this week: Jonathan on holes 15 and 16, and Joshua on hole 16. Both RPA players went bogey-free, and the 995 was the top round of the night. The rating swings tell the rest of the story: Jonathan at +29 over his rating, West at -58, Noah at -294. The 39-foot Circle 2 putts come from PDGA Live tracking, and I'll take any excuse to quote them. The more of you who track throws on PDGA Live, the more C1X putting and scramble numbers I can dig into for future recaps. 📋

The Jackpot Nobody Has Sawed Off 😑

The Super Ace Pot (split pot) started the event at $270.00 and took one $2.00 contribution. It now stands at $272.00. No ace was thrown, so the pot rolls on and the plank stays uncut. 🎯

Loose Change Under the Workbench 😑

One skins card, two players, $9.00 changing hands at $0.50 a skin. Joshua took 15 skins for $7.50, opening his account with a birdie on hole 2. West took 3 skins for $1.50, all of it a carryover scoop on hole 12, which is the course's toughest test for the field. Confused by any of this? The skins playbook explains how the carryovers work. 💰

Funding the Sit-Down Revolution 😑

This event raised $4.00 through the registration contribution, credited to the league. The Benches for Butts: A Bench on Every Hole project now stands at $70.00 raised (7%) toward its $1,000.00 goal, with $930.00 remaining. Every registration puts one more bench closer to a hole near you. 🪑

Tags Reshuffled, Attendance Now Mandatory 😑

Both pools run in AllIn mode, so every tag is redistributed each event and absence means demotion. In The Blueprint Bureau, Jonathan played and now holds tag #1, Audit Vortex, up four places from #5 on the strength of a 45 at Wobble Campus. That was 9.8 strokes below the 54.8 field average, though one stroke above his own 44.0 average. The tag was not defended. It is the Renegades' declaration that they welcome the audit. According to the legend, a crew member once sanded straight through the required documentation and submitted the bench with a note reading, "Judge the wood, not the paper." Louie approved it. The bearer draws scrutiny that somehow turns into advantage, and Jonathan just cleared a full audit of eagles.

Over in The Sawdust Syndicate, Nikolai Kitaguchi held #1 (Column Ruled) but didn't play, and the file flags him as demoted by absence. The pool's new #1 isn't named in my paperwork, so I'm not going to guess. No challenge matchups were provided this week. 📜

Sanding Marathon: Wrong Bolts, Right Amount of Chaos 😑

Jonathan walked off with the lead after hole 17 and the top tag, while Joshua ended one stroke back and outside the cash line. Does Joshua come back for a rematch, or does Jonathan defend Audit Vortex with a fresh round? Find out at Sanding Marathon, Week 6, Monday, October 5 at 6:00 PM, back at Northern Arizona University on the NAU - FL!PT League layout, no venue change. Electric sanders scream through the night, Louie rejects anything that snags flannel, and crews sand through their own fingerprints chasing the perfect satin finish. Then the smooth survivors head to final assembly, where campus facilities has delivered the wrong bolts and a safety inspector arrives with a camera and a litigation-proof clipboard. 🔩 Register here.

Somebody looked at "sand a plank" and decided it needed 26.2 miles of suffering, and I'm the one who has to narrate it.