STFU Flippy / No AI Mode Manage Flippy, snark, and No AI Mode in your profile Manage Settings
Season Premiere

AR.RAL Cedar Hills Dirty Shirleys

A satirical dungeon raid where the 'Boss Mob' is a judgmental tortoiseshell cat ruling over Cedar Hills. Mercenaries compete not just for points, but to avoid the Queen's disfavor while vying for the ultimate Relic: her Rhinestone Tiara.

Scroll to explore

The Story Begins

This league twists the Relic Exchange by framing the top-ranking bag tag as the 'Tiara,' a physical artifact the Queen believes belongs to her. Players are rival courtiers vying for the throne in a season-long political drama played out on the fairways.

The Tortoiseshell Queen claims the Hole 1 basket as her throne, establishing the 'Tiara' as the season's ultimate prize.

Choose Your Alliance

Pool A

Pool A

Primary competition pool

RPA RAH RAD
Pool B

Pool B

Secondary competition pool

RAE RAF RAG

Meet the Legends

Void Echo
Hollow Crown
Phantom Claim
Silent Tribunal

The Season Ahead

1
Week 1 Jun 17, 2026

Cedar Throne

Week 1

Mercenaries bring sponsor-provided treats to the Sweetbriar tees, sparking a rivalry over who has bought the Queen's favor.

2
Week 2 Jun 24, 2026

Sweetbriar Tribute

Week 2

A leading Delver has their putter swatted off the chains by the Queen, proving no lead is safe against her judgment.

3
Week 3 Jul 1, 2026

Basket Swat

Week 3

A chaotic round where a 'Dirty Shirley' is spilled on the fairway, staining the reputation of the current leader.

4
Week 4 Jul 8, 2026

Shirley Spill

Week 4

The Queen falls asleep during the tournament, allowing lower-ranked mercenaries to make a silent climb up the standings.

5
Week 5 Jul 15, 2026

Woods Nap

Week 5

Tensions boil over as two top contenders engage in a verbal spat, distracting them while the 'Jester' steals the win.

6
Week 6 Jul 22, 2026

Tensions Boil

Week 6

A controversial ruling by the 'Queen's Guard' leads to a protest, shifting the season's momentum.

7
Week 7 Jul 29, 2026

Royal Hiss

Week 7

The top-ranked Delver attempts a risky shot near the Queen, resulting in a penalty stroke and a loss of prestige.

8
Week 8 Aug 5, 2026

Basket Ambush

Week 8

The Queen finally purrs for a specific player, marking them as the chosen heir and painting a target on their back.

9
Week 9 Aug 12, 2026

Heir Apparent

Week 9

The final showdown determines who keeps the Tiara and who is relegated to litter box duty for the off-season.

10
Week 10 Aug 19, 2026

Final Purr

Week 10

The final showdown determines who keeps the Tiara and who is relegated to litter box duty for the off-season.

The Battlefield

Cedar Hills

5600 Sweetbriar Dr, Raleigh, NC 27604 4.2

🏆 Cedar Hills — “Come for the hills, stay because your disc is rolling back down.” 📍 Raleigh, North Carolina. Public park vibes. Fee info? Not listed here, fam—do the classic disc golfer shuffle: check the kiosk or the course page before you roll up. Coordinates if you wanna be extra: 35.859102, -78.629064. 🌲 Terrain and landscape? The name doesn’t lie—elevation is the main character. Parkland setting with trees doing that “I’m a fairway, but I also judge your angle control” thing. Water is flagged, so keep an eye out and, you know, don’t feed your putter to the splash zone. 🎯 Technical deets: It’s a full 18. Shot shaping matters because hills plus trees equals “control your nose angle or prepare for the scoot of shame.” Expect a rhythm that alternates between “let’s grind” and “ok, breathe.” UDisc rating at 4.2/5 means it’s legit great—bring your A game and your B-plan. 📊 Stats snack time: The big bad is Hole 8, averaging +0.83 over par with a Difficulty Index of 7.4/10. That’s boss-fight territory. The chill side quest is Hole 15, playing 0.71 strokes in players’ favor on average (Difficulty Index 3.8/10). Translation: 8 takes, 15 gives. 🔥 Notable holes: - Hole 8 = Elden Ring fog gate. Tight lines + elevation = respect it or respawn at the tee. - Hole 15 = Stardew Valley fishing pond. Farm those feels; this is where you get your strokes back. 🚽 Facilities: “Restroom” and “water” are specifically noted—always clutch. Scope signage or the park map to lock down locations. 🥏 Final verdict: Cedar Hills is a confidently great course with that roll-up-and-grind energy. Elevation keeps it spicy, water keeps it honest, and the 18-hole flow keeps you smiling. A worthy Raleigh quest. Go throw hero shots—just pack a layup or two.

Cedar Hills in Raleigh, North Carolina presents an 18-hole disc golf course embedded in a public park environment with elevation clearly central to its identity. The course name evokes a landscape of rolling hills and evergreen character, with the presence of water explicitly noted on site. Visually, think of gently sloped fairways and contours that rise and fall across a green, parkland setting, with corridors defined by mature trees and open sightlines that allow throws to shape along the terrain. The setting feels grounded and natural, with a clean park aesthetic rather than wild forest—organized, maintained, and clearly laid out for steady flow between holes. The light is bright and open, shifting across hilltops and dips, with soft shadows cast by trees that frame tee pads and baskets. A natural color palette dominates: layered greens of grass and foliage, earthy browns of soil and trunks, and a touch of blue where water is present or sky breaks through. The vibe is calm but competitive—one hole notably tests players well above par, while another gives strokes back—so the atmosphere toggles between focused intensity and relief. Expect the sensory mix of elevation underfoot, a breeze that moves across open park spaces, and the steady rhythm of an 18-hole loop designed to showcase hills, trees, and water as defining visual cues of Cedar Hills.

Next Episode Begins In

-- Days
-- Hours
-- Minutes
-- Seconds